ColeJournal

Session Date: 20101210

I’ve taken a new name, Xavier Issac Steel. It rings true in too many ways. My family is after me. I don’t hold them in any particular contempt for this. For all I know, this is what I would do as well. Falling down is so hard. Maker knows that I don’t want to fall again. I can tell that my pride is getting to be too much. My name, my craft, my … everything, it almost begs to be found, to be recognized, known.

Maker would be so proud of what I’ve accomplished and yet ashamed at the human weakness that is apparent in everything I do. He tried so hard to make me perfect. It is hard to continue on as flawed as I am.

There is a man who is after me. He is a finely tuned bloodhound baying for my family. He hunts me. HE HUNTS ME. This is frustrating, it angers me in ways that I didn’t know possible. I don’t know what do to.

Session Date: 20100813

Well this is going to be interesting…Johnathan Winters has asked me for a favor, a big one. One that I’m not sure I can honor. I need to make him a sword, one that will be able to slay He Who Hunts to the Last. This sword it going to consume my life for the next 6 months and I’m not sure that I will have a finished product at the end of that time.

Not only that, but I’m going to have to give up on pretending I’m a normal person for it. I’m going to be working 16 hour days in order to make this happen. So much for a normallacy. The thing I’m going to miss most: spending time with my Motley. They’re my brother and sisters, you know? We do everything together, well, almost everything. I wonder how they will fair without me there? Knowing them, they’ll get into trouble, the fun kind. I don’t know. I’m kinda feeling bitter about this deal, I mean, what does it gain me? In the short term, probably nothing, but if I can make this then we’ll have a potent weapon against the Fae should they bother us (the Freehold). This…relationship with Katie is also something that is going to suffer. This is probably going to hurt her a lot, but it is something that must be done.

Why does it sound like I’m trying to convince myself? Maybe I am…I gotta disappear from my life, but how? I’ve got a few ideas for dealing with school:

Mono (Infectious mononucleosis), the typical sickness of high schoolers. This would is probably the easiest to do and it is probably the one I’m going to use for school.

Internship at a company. This could be interesting in that I may be able to get the school to approve of my absence and I won’t have to make up quite as much work this way. That’s the hope at least. The only problem with this is that I would need to get some other people (maybe Johnathan Winters can help here) in on this and they would have to vouch for my time.

Drop out. This is probably the worst idea but it does have its merits. I wouldn’t have to explain where I was to anyone, except perhaps Katie…

Have another accident. This was a suggestion of Sid’s. It isn’t bad one. I could ‘develop’ schizophrenia or some other mental illness and need to be put away for a while. Ha! It may even help with keeping some people at bay if they think that I’m potentially a raving lunatic. There may be something to this.

Dealing with Katie is definitely going to be more problamatic. I don’t want to hurt her, but it is almost certainly going to. I don’t know what to tell her. I may go with some version of the truth… Maybe not, I don’t know if she can keep secrets and this would be a big one. I don’t want to lie to her about it but it may be for the best. The pledge is pretty specific in that no one is to know what is happening. Maybe let her know that I owe someone a favor and that they need me to work for them for 6 months in order to repay it. Man, this is going to suck.

ColeJournal

A Fragile Immortality shdwkng